Despite our excitement that Whitney Thompson won the latest Top Model crown, there’s no doubt that the show is getting more boring by the season - not quite Hills boring, but almost…

So it was interesting to hear Tyra Banks admit in her recent interview with The New York Times that she, too, was bored of the show -

Namely the contestants, who “only want to be famous.”

Well shit, Tyra, we could have told you that by Cycle Four.

Tyra promises in the article that upcoming seasons of Top Model will test and weigh the contestant’s knowledge of fashion and potential for industry viability above all else.

We’ll believe it when we see it - and when she lowers the show’s age requirement from 18 to 15.

Much like the blonde and preening Whitney, America’s Next Top Model improves its own performance every week.

Especially impressive are this season’s photo shoots, which actually resemble real magazine spreads - last week’s Nu Rave Spin-Art session looked dangerously close to a past POP editorial, while this episode’s music shoot was straight out of Conde Nast: Fashion Rocks. We dug it, especially the acknowledgment of “Emo” as a legit genre, and the way Fatima looked like a real Vogue model - if only she weren’t such a downer!

But there was one thing to take issue with:

The “nude” shoot bestowed on Russian surfer Anya.

In a few terrifying shots, it looked like she was baring all - and we mean all - on public television, and then we realized:

She was wearing an itsy bitsy thong to shield her itsy bitsy vagina.

We’re not sure it counts as a nude shoot if the model gets to wear underwear, but we were also mystified that the Top Model producers flashed so much random skin.

Surely after all this time, they don’t need more ratings?!

(Note: Please at least look over your shoulder before you click through if you’re at work…)

Despite our adoration of Coco, Gemma, and the rest of the haute clan, we’ll admit we’re obsessed with the C listers too -

Specifically, the Top Model veterans, in all of their non-existent glory.

So while Saleisha presents her Life as a Cover Girl every Wednesday on TV (followed by the much more satisfying Drew Barrymore ads - why can’t she look like that on the Vogue cover?!), we hear from several California girls that Chantal has moved to Los Angeles and started working with the student designers at FIDM.

Though she’s popped up in several student fashion shows, we hear she’s most excited about working with one girl in particular - FIDM junior Lauren Conrad (who may never finish school, but that’s another story).

Will Chantal become BFF with Audrina and move into Lauren’s new guest house, and work as the fit model for her swooshy, blank clothing line?

Actually, we can totally see that happening - and we hear that so can a few people in the TV industry. Stay tuned…

Our baby Nicholas Routzen just finished a very interesting assignment:

Photographing Saleisha Stowers for the cover of Florida International Magazine.

We’ve never heard of it, but we like Saleisha’s odd makeup in the shots -

It reminds us a lot of our favorite Miami hotel, The Standard, where you can get an incredible colored mud bath on their beach.

And who will be Florida International’s next cover model - sorry, we mean America’s Next Top Model?

Well, for the new season, we like Lauren and Whitney, so of course, neither will win (boo!).

To: Faran@fashionista.com

From: Insider@BigDesigner.com

So I got a call from Jade, the crazy Top Model contestant who was just a terror. It was actually her agent asking if I was interested in booking her for fashion week in February… She called her the “million dollar face.”

I’m not doing the booking anyway, and c’mon, it’s JADE! [Redacted: too mean for print]. But she insisted on emailing me these pictures and I had to share them with you.

We were thinking about having a go see just for fun if we weren’t busy as hell. We’re not as mean as she was on the show!

There’s nothing remotely fashionable about any of this, but its pretty hilarious. Apparently Matthew Ralston shot them. Enjoy.

We hear from a source that although Saleisha has indeed signed her Elite contract and strolled through their New York office, she won’t be hitting the New York Fashion Week circuit - in fact, the agency won’t even be sending her on runway castings.

Also, although Elite models are routinely signed for three-year contracts, the binding papers for the Top Model winner may be a shorter one-year agreement.

So what will Saleisha be doing instead of fashion shows and castings?

“Press appointments and Cover Girl filming takes up the bulk of her first few months,” says the source, “And then it’s more likely she’ll go out for sportswear campaigns, like Jaslene Gonzales did last year.”

Meanwhile, Elite has another relative newbie who actually could be America’s next top model - their fifteen-year-old foundling, Karlie Kloss, is on the cover of Teen Vogue this month with Chanel Iman and Ali Michael.

While some Top Model junkies debate whether the competition was rigged in favor of winner Saleisha Stowers, the newest reality winner has arrived in New York.

We hear Ms. Saleisha visited the Elite offices in Manhattan for the first time yesterday, though she wasn’t sent out on any go-sees because she was too busy getting interviewed by the press (funny, we never got to speak with her!).

The general consensus seems to be that she’s a very cute girl - but is that enough to actually book jobs?

Probably not, though we can totally see her guest-starring on a children’s sitcom like Hannah Montana - if anything, Saleisha looks like a really adorable, accessible pop star from Nickelodeon… in heels.

Oh yes, and who do you think will win Top Model tonight? Jenna who looks like Sasha, Salesha who looks like a pop star, or Chantal, who’s really, really blonde? We think Salesha because they’ve given her the nicest edit… and because she went to Tyra’s summer camp.

One of our big Top Model peeves is that nearly all the girls are too old to begin a modeling career. Right now, most of the top girls are 19 and 20, and the ones that are 25-30 (Irina, Raquel, Angela, Missy) have been working for a long time. Even Agyness, 24, has been stomping in England since early 2000, although her big pickup didn’t come for two years.

But if Tyra’s girls are too old, are the V Model finalists a bit too young?

We realize that Gemma and Stam started working around age 15, but two of the five V finalists - who win a contract with Supreme and a spread on the magazine’s website - are in junior high, with Tennessee native Ashley Hanks (left) clocking in at thirteen years old.

She looks incredible, as do all the other girls, and we’re grateful to V for keeping their search realistically focused on girls who can really be models.

But there’s one problem:

If Ashley (or 14-year-old Dara, or 15-year-old Amanda) wins the Supreme contract, they won’t be able to participate in Fashion Week - at least not according to the CFDA, who ruled last year that girls under 16 can’t walk.

The New York Times has a piece today on Heather Kuzmich, the Top Model contestant who just got booted.

Most of it is stuff you already know: Heather has Asperger’s Syndrome, she often can’t look people in the eye, she still looks ridiculously good on camera.

It’s also no surprise that Heather wants to be the new spokeswoman for Asperger’s, as she tells The Times.

But we did like it when Heather admitted “I’m used to people ignoring me,” something that’s going to be very hard now that she’s a reality TV star - at least for the rest of the year, until a new ANTM cycle starts going.

We do wonder what will happen to Heather now that she’s had this unusual experience, but we also wonder about the reporter’s musings that “the addition of Heather Kuzmich to an otherwise superficial show has given millions of viewers an unusual and compelling glimpse into the little-understood world of Asperger’s.”

Really? Because we thought Tyra played it like any other plot angle - you could be the girl from the projects, or the one who had an eating disorder or an abusive boyfriend, or you could have a neurological condition - it all seems to get the same editing treatment of Tyra turning her little ducklings into wannabe swans.

Those housebound with hangovers this weekend no doubt caught the Top Model marathon, which ran longer than a James Cameron movie and proved just as frightening.

Watching Jaslene win (again) and Jade suck (always) was fun, but what we find most fascinating is the way the producers go out of their way to drive the girls out of their minds. Catwalks with cockroaches? Please. One phone for twelve girls? Dumb. But the cruelest and most unusual punishment seemed to be one challenge that was both dangerous and incredulous.

The problem?

It was also the only challenge that collided with the real world of fashion.

It was in Cycle Six, when Tyra proffered a pair of Vivienne Westwood spike heels to every girl in the contest, and asked them to walk down a flight of steps and across a runway. “You guys,” warns Tyra, “One of the most famous models in the world fell in these shoes” - it was Naomi Campbell in 1993, who later admitted to David Letterman that she could have “broken both my feet” in the shoes.

They don’t make them anymore, but the girls still had to try clomping, leaving Danielle Evans in clutches after she crashed.

Danielle eventually won the show, but the Westwood Shoe Challege still crawled under our skin in a way we’ve never felt about Top Model. We think it might have been a bit mean and nasty for the girls, who are nervous, tired, and generally uncoordinated.

But maybe instead it’s this - that the fashion world itself is sometimes mean and nasty, and the fact that Tyra shows that aspect, without any of its true aesthetics or art, just seems unfair and empty…. but still sickly addictive, which is why we screen-shotted the entire sequence, and posted it below.

We met Jaslene Gonzalez last week, very randomly, and we learned something very fun:

She’s rumored to have booked a fashion campaign, for Eve’s new line, Fetish (another celebrity clothing range!).

According to a source close to the brand, that makes her just the second Top Model champ ever to score a series of clothing ads - the first was Eva Pigford, who booked an Apple Bottoms campaign a year after her win.

Look for Jaslene’s pictures to break soon, but she’ll probably be seen first on the new season of the show, giving advice to the top 3 girls before their big Cover Girl shoot (and our picks for the top 3 girls are… Jenna… Heather… and, um, Lisa?).

“Tyra and I stay in touch over email,” Jaslene told us, “Because we’re both so busy!”

It’s okay Jaslene - we’re not sure we could handle talking to Tyra all the time either.

Today’s reality byte:

We hear Asia Nitollano, the winner of the Pussycat Dolls show, has landed an impressive modeling gig:

After posing for a few catalog shots for the Sean John women’s line, she’s been named one of the faces of Angels, the brand’s new collection of sportswear.

Inspired by Charlie’s Angels, the line also boasts Diddy’s muse and protege Cassie as a model, along with actress Lauren London, who is quite possibly the cutest girl we’ve ever seen on Entourage.

The line officially launches this Friday, and yes, we’ll be there - mostly out of love for Cassie, who’s awesome.

Meanwhile, tonight on Top Model, the girls have a photo shoot where they pretend to be gargoyles, and we think Ambreal might go home, even though she seems like one of the smartest girls they’ve got.

And now, back to our reality…

We’ll admit we give Tyra a very hard time on this site, but it’s only because she has the attention and influence of so many girls.

That’s why we smirked when our MySpace got a message today about appearing on her show.

“Hi,

This is NOT SPAM. We’re doing a show about living a long, healthy life and we’re looking for a woman who wears heels most of the time and large, heavy bags. If you’re interested, please call me asap.

Julie Ruggiero
The Tyra Banks Show”

Obviously, large and heavy bags don’t just have damaging price tags - they can also hurt your spine. And heels wear down your tendons, and probably don’t contribute to a long, healthy life.

But if Tyra wants her fans to give up their teetering pairs of Pradas, she’s not making it easy:

Witness the countless Top Model episodes where she tells the shorter girls they must always wear heels, or risk looking like they don’t belong.

Surely that kind of danger is more severe than wrecking all your muscles. Right, Tyra?

Will America’s Next (or just latest) Top Model pose for Fashion Week?

We don’t know - but we do have her show card from Elite.

Jaslene looks really good in her industry composite, and we know her wiry frame will look great in the menswear shapes hugging the catwalk.

But we haven’t heard of her appearing at any castings yet, and designers may not be interested in casting a mild TV personality.

One place we will be watching:

The runway at the Van Cleef and Arpels Paris-themed party, which promises to feature a handful of models in dazzling Van Cleef jewels, and all will be procured from Elite’s boards.

Wait a minute - wasn’t catwalking in 10 lbs of diamonds while surrounded by Can Can dancers a Top Model challenge?

If you can say the word “fierce” without smirking, get your resume ready:

Tyra Banks needs a new creative director for her company, Bankable Productions.

Your new job includes…

“Facilitating all creative concepts” - recruiting tall, slightly deranged beauties for Top Model…

“Assessing the feasibility and profitability of these creative concepts” - negotiating below-market insurance policies for those deranged beauties…

“Leading the business development of all viable concepts and positioning them to become successful new ventures” - figuring out if anyone will watch a spinoff show with Miss and Mister Jay…

“Working closely with the President on all key matters” - serving Tyra cake.

Bonne chance.

We hear Jaslene has one of her first castings since Top Model today.

It’s not for Prada (which was Gemma’s first campaign), or BCBG (Stam), or Dolce and Gabbana (Hilary Rhoda).

Instead, she’ll be up for ads by Fetish, the clothing line started by Eve.

Coincidentally, Eve was a guest judge on last season’s Top Model, and had her own TV show - a sitcom - about life as a perpetually single fashion designer.

We wonder if her friend Tyra put her up to this campaign idea…

Sure she has the title, but does Jaslene Gonzalez have the talent to win more than a reality show?

Her first big shoot for Seventeen is out, and for now, our verdict is no.

There’s something about her face that doesn’t quite translate onto a huge page, which makes us wonder how her Cover Girl ad will go down (and speaking of Cover Girl, the company does have a two-page ad in the magazine, but it’s with our favorite pop star, Rihanna).

Jaslene does give an honest - and funny! - interview to editor Carissa Rosenberg, but we wonder how far she’ll go in the industry with these shots. Maybe a less commercial magazine can use her razored beauty in a more compelling way… or become more of a TV fixture, since we all know she looks amazing when the cameras are rolling.